Wine

I had 2 glasses of wine in 19 days. And I didn’t like the taste of either one.

The reality is, I don’t like the taste of alcoholic [...]]]> Okay, just two more days to go on my self-imposed diet restrictions. I will be honest, I have cheated a bit on myself. But here is what I discovered:

Wine

I had 2 glasses of wine in 19 days. And I didn’t like the taste of either one.

The reality is, I don’t like the taste of alcoholic beverages in general. I do like some shiraz, but I cannot drink red wines, without suffering a horrible rosacea flare.

Over the past 19 days, I have been drinking sparkling water with a splash of all natural fruit juices. Very refreshing and very tasty. I’m totally ditching the wine in favour of this.

Cake

Desserts have always been a special occasion item for me. We don’t have so much as a cookie in the house on a daily basis. So, I wasn’t too worried about this aspect of my diet anyway.

I had a small piece of carrot cake at work for someone’s departure party, and a small piece of marble cake at a friend’s dinner party. I enjoyed every single bite of both cakes, and I suffered no ill effects.

I’ll be keeping special occasion desserts on my okay list. The trick is to have a small piece and savour each forkful.

Ice Cream

I don’t consider ice cream to be dessert, which is why it is in its own category. Don’t question my logic; just go with it.

Again, it is rarely in the house, but every once in awhile the Lion has an ice cream craving and brings a tub home. Chocolate fudge caramel swirl this time.

On two evenings, I had about 6 spoonfuls. That was plenty, and I was able to push the rest away.

Again, I enjoyed every bite, and kept the portions small. And the Lion only succumbs to this craving about once every three months.

Fast food

This was an unmitigated disaster! Yesterday, I had a fast food burger and fries (no pop; I always have milk). Half way through my burger, I was no longer enjoying it. One third of the way through my fries I was no longer enjoying them.

I ended up bloated with a sick lumpy feeling in my belly. And by the time I had walked back to work, all I wanted to do was put my head down on my desk and fall sleep. And thirsty? Holy frig, I’m not used to that much salt all at once.

I then spent the evening borderline cranky and jittery.

Fast food is NOT showing up on my menu selection again!

So, those are my cheats and associated discoveries.

I am off on a road trip with my girls for the next week. This means 6 days of non-structured restaurant eating. I’ll report on vacation eating upon my return.

But I passed! With flying colours!

Last Friday, the Lion and I spent a glorious late afternoon on outdoor patios with another couple. This generally involves beer and platters [...]]]> It is one thing to stick to a way of eating within the confines of one’s own home. Eating elsewhere, however, can put serious temptations in one’s way.

But I passed! With flying colours!

Last Friday, the Lion and I spent a glorious late afternoon on outdoor patios with another couple. This generally involves beer and platters of pub food. I had water and food that completely avoided my taboos of flour. All good. And we saved money because purchasing alcohol at restaurants is expensive.

Saturday was a Lion family reunion. This was a bit more challenging in that everyone was thrusting wine, beer and alcohol spiked punch at me, while chattering away in French about how I needed a drink. I politely explained, in English, that I had a drink I was happy with, and waved my water bottle. Which led to clucking of tongues and shaking of heads.

It’s okay, I think they simply wrote me off as some crazy English woman, who didn’t know how to have a good time.

The meal was pot luck, and all I had to do was not take a bun. There was plenty of yummy good on my ’safe’ list to fill me up.

But then they brought out the dessert tray and cake. The cake was easy to turn down. It was Black Forest Cake, and I do not like cherries. Problem solved because that particular dessert was repulsive to me. But the trays of dessert squares? I love dessert squares. I briefly considered the dessert squares. I looked at the Lion licking the Nanaimo bar chocolate off his fingers …. then I went for a walk.

No desserts for me AND I got some exercise!

Truth be told, it really wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be. The most challenging part is having to constantly explain to other people why I am not drinking alcohol, or not eating the desserts.

What’s with all this peer pressure? Honestly, why does anyone even care what I put into my body?

I don’t drink much alcohol to begin with. I do not like the taste of hard liquors at all. I might sip the occasional liqueur, but so rarely you might as well say never. I can’t drink red wine, [...]]]> I have always been fascinated by the social implications of drinking. Or more interestingly, of not drinking.

I don’t drink much alcohol to begin with. I do not like the taste of hard liquors at all. I might sip the occasional liqueur, but so rarely you might as well say never. I can’t drink red wine, because of my rosacea.  And the preservatives in a lot of commercial beers cause my throat to fill up with mucous, leaving just expensive mirco-brewery beers as my option. Which pretty much leaves me with white wine.

Over the course of my adult years, I have gone for extended periods of time not drinking any alcohol at all. And when I am in alcohol drinking phases, quite often I chose to not have an alcoholic beverage, while everyone else is drinking alcohol.

And this seems to bother people!

They keep asking me if I want something to drink. “My water is fine, thank you,” I respond. But this is not good enough for them. Over the course of the evening they will keep asking. For some reason, they are extremely uncomfortable that I am not drinking alcohol right alongside them. Almost as if I am judging them. As if they are doing something wrong, and to alleviate their guilt, they need to me to drink too.

I am used to this. What I am not used to is my own reaction to not drinking alcohol, when others are.

You see, last night, the Urbane Lion had a much younger, slim, attractive, female, former co-worker over for a visit. He offered her an alcoholic drink, which she accepted. Then he offered me one (he still hasn’t gotten the whole cleanse concept), and I requested sparkling water with a splash of cranberry juice.

The Lion turned to the younger, slim, attractive female and said “La Madam has had a rough Summer.”

The younger, slim, attractive female then turned to me, with an expression to suggest I was an alcoholic old hag, and not quite so sweetly asked “Too many parties?”

Ouch!

I was too horrified to respond, but interestingly, a party is the one place is I NEVER drink. I am uncomfortable in a huge crowd, and like to have my full wits about me. And when I am hosting a party, I want tobe  fully alert to the state of my alcohol drinking guests.

Because the Lion and Miss Thang were speaking only in French, I wandered away. When I came back to join them, the Lion was pouring wine for the two of them. And here is where my reaction got very interesting …

I was hurt!

It was like they were sharing in something intimate. They were drinking wine together, and there I was with just my sparkling water. It’s like I was an outsider looking in.

Now how stupid is that?!!!!!

I still didn’ cave. I stuck to my sparkling water. But I just never felt part of the evening.

Okay, there was the whole language barrier thing, but the fact that they were drinking alcohol and I wasn’t was a very odd part of me feeling left out.

I can’t even begin to figure any of it out.

Fire away with your thoughts on the social aspects of drinking alcohol.

Donuts!

I am not a cake person. Wouldn’t thank you for a piece of cake. But donuts? I’ll eat on entire flat in one sitting.

I didn’t though. I [...]]]> So, there I was on Day 1 of my cleanse, eager to start on my sugar free adventure. And what does my new manager bring to our team meeting?

Donuts!

I am not a cake person. Wouldn’t thank you for a piece of cake. But donuts? I’ll eat on entire flat in one sitting.

I didn’t though. I kept passing the box up and down the table to other team members, and didn’t so much as analyze the contents.

Got home and the first thing out of the Urbane Lion’s mouth, okay the second thing because he always tells me loves me and missed me, was “Do you want a glass of wine?”

I just stared at him. We HAD this conversation.

“Oh, that’s right. You are doing some cleanse thing.”

Well, at least he remembered the conversation. So, I had sparkling water with a splash of cranberry juice in it.

I did make a great discovery at the deli in my building. It has those ‘build your own/pay by the weight’ food bars. Turns out healthy food doesn’t weigh much!

Breakfast cost $3.42 and I got:

• 2 cups of fresh fruit (strawberry, pineapple, kiwi, cantaloupe, melon)
• 1 hard boiled egg
• 1 very thin slice of ham
• 1 small cube of smoked cheese.

For lunch, for $2.04, I got:

• 1 cup of salad (mixed greens, tomato, yellow peppers)
• 3 small slices of chicken breast
• 1 yummy little grape leaf package of risotto

I don’t think I could have made those two meals for that price!

Today I’m home, so we’ll see how I do diving into my own fridge.

My body is falling apart, and I need to adjust. My face is a mess, I’m tired, I’m bloated, and yes, I’m even constipated … like you needed to know that.

So, for the first time in my life, I am going on a cleanse. To be honest, I have always [...]]]> That’s it! I have had enough!

My body is falling apart, and I need to adjust. My face is a mess, I’m tired, I’m bloated, and yes, I’m even constipated … like you needed to know that.

So, for the first time in my life, I am going on a cleanse. To be honest, I have always rolled my eyes when people talk about cleansing diets, and to all of you, I apologize. Because I think I understand why you do it.

I feel like there is a build up of crap … um, somewhat literally … in me. So, for the next 21 days (the length of time to break a habit) I am doing the following:

• no bread products
• no pasta
• no sugar
• no alcohol

I am keeping my morning and after dinner espresso, and my after dinner two squares of 85% dark chocolate. I have to have something to look forward to!

I fully expect that for the first week I will feel awful … not to mention incredibly tempted to cave and wolf back a baguette. But, I am determined.

And so starts the cleanse ….

Question: has anyone tried a cleansing diet?

I will be using a variety of tools, including oracle cards, journaling [...]]]> Time to change the flavour of the Lair. While I am busy with, and extremely passionate about, Silver & Grace, I find I still need the Lair. But, this time it will used to chronicle my journey of self-discovery. A private journey made public.

I will be using a variety of tools, including oracle cards, journaling and whatever else strikes my fancy.

And so it begins ….

Using Brian Froud’s Faeries’ Oracle:

Theme: Arval Parrot

Finding my voice. Very mixed as to who I am at the moment. I feel dowdy. Almost matronly. Horrors! My ideal being fun, creative and sassy.

This is it: Mickle a Muckle (reversed)

Silly grin on his face, blending in perfectly with his surroundings. I’m not connected to my surroundings right now. Neither at home nor work.

This challenges it: The Master Maker

‘Jack of all trades; master of none’ I never really seem to become a master at any one thing. Right now I am a:

• blog author of an information site for women;
• requirements coordinator at work;
• efficiency expert as a freelancer with my first client.

Wisdom to be gained: The Dark Lady (reversed)

Yes, that is what I am disconnected from. The real power and magic within me. I am disconnected from my core.

Distant past: The Guardian at the Gate

The beginning of a new journey. Lots of new beginnings. New job at work; new and very different style of blogging; unexpected freelance gig.

Recent past: G Hobyah (reversed)

I don’t recall ever having this little guy before! Startling blue eyes. Arms crossed. Almost ready to strike out. Like he’s ready to spring forward and thrust out his arms … hmmmm …

Recent Future: The Topsie Turvies (reversed)

Only it’s hard for these fellows to be reversed *smile* Okay, the guy that leaps out at me is all squooshed and out of shape. That’s how I feel. Surrounded on all sides with things a) I want to do and b) I must do.

Subconscious: Gawtcha

I imagine he’s in cahoots with G. Hobyah. All curled up, but peeking one eye out from behind his hands. As if to say there is something out there, I’m just not sure what it is, so better to stay protected for now.

My environment: Ekstasis (reversed)

Well, no kidding! I don’t exactly feel onfecstatic at the moment. I think numb is a better description. But, I see wings wanting to fly.

Hopes, fears, desires: Faeries of the Future (reversed)

Wow, lots of blocked energy. Loads of potential, but no clue which direction to go in. The faerie just sitting there quietly with her eyes closed is me. Frozen in time neither looking forwards nor backwards.

Outcome: Epone’s Wild Daughter (reversed … again!)

That’s what I want actually. To feel wild again. But, right now I’m that faerie all curled up in a tight little ball.

Outcome clarification: Spirit Dancer (reversed … ARGH!)

From this upside down view, she is not dancing with wild abandon. Rather, her head is tucked into her arm, blocking her from leaping forward.

Reading conclusion:

Okay, simply confirmation that my energy is completely blocked at the moment. But, with glimpses of where I want to get to. Need to explore that in more depth.

I have been blogging at the Urban Panther’s Lair for over a year now, and many wonderful things have come from that:

For those of you unfamiliar with Turkish Grills, they are basically big beautiful brass hibachi. [...]]]> For our collective birthdays, I asked my parents if they would buy the Lion and me a Turkish Grill. I have been coveting Turkish Grills for years, and now that we have a patio area for it, we finally got one.

For those of you unfamiliar with Turkish Grills, they are basically big beautiful brass hibachi. We got ours from Lee Valley, because I love Lee Valley as much as I love the look of Turkish Grills. So, to purchase a Turkish Grill from Lee Valley makes it all that much sweeter.

Anyway, I’ll get to the point of this post, which is slow cooking. Almost every night since setting up our grill, we have cooked on it. The Lion calls them Cook Your Own Friggin’ Food nights.

As many as five of us gather around the grill and cook veggies and marinated meats, and melt fancy cheeses onto French breads. Heck, we even got down and dirty the other night and cooked your basic chicken lips and other floor scrap wieners.

And I am finally losing weight! You see, I am really good during the day for portion control, but dinner is my downfall. But, I am eating way less on Cook Your Own Friggin’ Food nights. Not because it doesn’t taste good. It’s delicious! No, it’s because we are eating very slowly.

I put one small piece of meat and one or two veggie pieces on the grill and I wait until they are cooked. Then I eat them. Then, and only then, I put the next piece of meat and accompanying veggies on to cook. As a result, my body has time to register the first consumption of food, such that by the time I finish eating the second round, I am full!

I am probably eating at least half of what I was before. Yet I don’t feel deprived in anyway. And I am totally involved in my meal, because if I don’t watch it carefully on the grill it will burst into flames! And with all the effort that went into cooking it, I then sit and savour the food while eating it.

Compare this to grabbing a heaping plate full from the pots in the kitchen, then sitting down in front of the TV, and mindlessly forking in the food, and swallowing without ever really paying attention.

Of course, this will only work for a couple of months out of the year, because that’s about all the enjoyable (read warm) weather we get here in Canada. If you don’t believe me, check out the map. Quebec is pretty far north! Not quite polar bear country, but awfully darn close!

But, I will enjoy these slow enjoyable dinners while I can. And maybe once we have to move back indoors again, I will think of a way to continue this mindful way of eating.

Do you just fork in the food while your mind is elsewhere?
Cook Your Own Friggin’ Food dinners last at least thirty minutes, if not longer. How long does it generally take you to eat a meal?

That got your attention!

The other day, during a business trip to Toronto, I was walking down Yonge Street reminiscing. And there was the strip club where I went to see male strippers for the first time. Twenty-six years ago.

It was also the last time I have seen male strippers.

I was working right [...]]]> Let’s talk exotic dancers.

That got your attention!

The other day, during a business trip to Toronto, I was walking down Yonge Street reminiscing. And there was the strip club where I went to see male strippers for the first time. Twenty-six years ago.

It was also the last time I have seen male strippers.

I was working right downtown, and a female co-worker was horrified that I had not been to a strip club. So, after several months of nagging me, I caved, and away we went.

I’m sorry, but ladies, when it comes to watching male dancers, you are pigs!

I have never been so embarrassed for my fellow females!

Hooting, and hollering, and cat calling, and whistling. And generally carrying on like a bunch of wild thangs.

In the ensuing years, I have been to see female strippers. Purely as an anthropological study to compare the two types of clubs, of course.

Men are not pigs.

Men order beers, talk with their buddies, and occassionally glance over at the girls on stage.

Eight out of ten men are horrified if a girl actually approaches their table.  And of the two that are interested, only one of them will head back to the Champagne Lounge.

Actually, I’m not really sure why the guys go. It seems to be the case of paying an outrageous sum of money for beer in order to say no to good looking women!

Anyway, back to us women. Personally, I was pretty bored watching the male strippers. They clearly fell into two categories.

1. Good looking university or college students helping to pay for their tuition;
2. Scary looking older guys paying for their drugs.

I hold no judgements on anyone, male or female, choosing to be an exotic dancer. And I am sure they can make some pretty good money. But for me, this type of entertainment is not the least bit sexy or sensual.

They are people simply doing their job. Enter stage right, shake something, strip something off, swing around a pole, shake something again, exit stage left.

So, ladies, what is all this hooting and hollering about? These are men. Fellow human beings. Somebodies brother, or uncle, or father. Not pieces of meat to be fought over like a pack of hungry wolves.

If men conducted themselves in this fashion at a female strip club, they would be tossed out of the club by some burly bouncer faster than you can say g-string.

Personally, if I had to make the choice to go an exotic club with a bunch of women or a bunch of men, I am hanging out with the boys. They seem to know how to behave themselves.

So, ladies, please explain the whole Chippendale fascination to me.