Urban Panthers Lair

Michael made the mistake of mentioning that he wanted to fence in the yard. A mistake, because now  Charlotte’s partner was going on and on about the correct way to install a fence.

Advice was one thing, but this man always managed to come across as the sole expert on absolutely everything.

“People drop the fence post into cement. It’s so stupid. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out the fence post will rot!”

Michael didn’t have to listen to his tirades very often, but it was Charlotte’s birthday, and Margaret insisted on hosting her mother’s party.

It wasn’t like Michael was even talking to the guy. He simply mentioned to Charlotte that they wanted to fence in the yard so Thomas could play outside by himself.

“Whatever you do, don’t listen to those idiots in the building supply stores. They don’t know anything about anything.”

Actually, Michael was planning on looking it all up on the internet, but he had learned long ago to keep that type of information to himself. it would only trigger another rant on how any idiot can post information to the internet.

“What type of wood are you using? Just use pressure treated. And whatever you do, don’t stain it! It will look like crap within a year.”

Lord, the guy did go on. Michael clutched the beer bottle in his hand as if it were a lifeline. It was still half full, so he couldn’t use going to get another beer as an excuse to leave.

Time to cut the conversation short.

“Well, I haven’t put any thought to it yet, beyond wanting to keep Thomas in the yard.”

“When I was a kid we roamed all over the place. Nobody worried about us. We all survived. Parents these days are so damn paranoid.”

Michael looked at Charlotte in desperation. There had to be a way to shut this man down.

Charlotte sighed and fell into her role as buffer between her partner and all other human beings.

“Yes, dear,” she interjected, “but when you were a kid, you roamed in groups, and there was less traffic. And bad things did happen. It was just all hushed up.”

“Of course we roamed in groups! We weren’t all sitting on our asses in front of televisions and computer games. We were actually outside getting exercise.”

“I need to see if it’s time to light the barbeque,” Michael mumbled, while he slipped away.

Michael felt horrible about leaving Charlotte to deal with the new tirade. But then again, it was her choice to stay with the guy. Michael did his best to be friendly, but he sure wasn’t obligated to be the target of the man’s arrogance.

“Margaret,” Michael called out, entering the kitchen, “please tell me it’s time to cook those burgers!”