Can you age gracefully and have plastic surgery?
Vered, over at MomGrind was host to a guest blogger recently. Dan Miller wrote a post supporting cosmetic plastic surgery in order to defy the natural affects of aging. Those of you who know me, probably thought my initial reaction was Hell No! And you would be correct. But to my surprise, I had to then think about my response. Actually, I sat there for quite awhile thinking about my response.
The result of my pondering generated this post.
This photograph is of my two grandmothers. On the left is Isabelle, my paternal grandmother. On the right is Marguerite, my maternal grandmother.
In the end, I based my response on these women.
Both had droopy old ladies’ bosoms. Both had round old ladies’ bellies. Both had naturally silver hair. Marguerite had fairly oily skin, so not too many wrinkles, whereas Isabelle’s face was covered in fine lines.
Marguerite was not physically strong, due to a car accident that left her unable to stand without support. Isabelle, on the other hand, went for long country walks.
But to me, what is striking about this photograph is that it is very typical of both my grandmothers. It is the twinkle in their eyes, and the genuine smiles on their faces. And this is what makes them truly beautiful. And this is exactly how I envision both ladies when I conjure up memories.
Of course, they are not here for me to ask them if they accepted their own bodies gracefully into old age. Sadly, I was too young to know what questions to ask them before they died. I am full of questions now. In this case, I would love to ask them if they felt sexy and vital, or if there was a part of their bodies they ever wanted to change.
I can only go on what I remember.
I remember Marguerite sitting in her big comfy chair, while all the grandchildren took turns sitting in the big comfy chair opposite her. I remember that while you were with her, she was totally with you. She wanted to know about you. She shared what she knew about other family members. She had a beautiful laugh, that bordered on a giggle. And she was stunningly beautiful.
I remember long walks in the woods with Isabelle. I remember that while you were with her, she was totally with you. She wanted to know about you. She shared what she knew about other family members. She had a beautiful laugh, which was full and rich. And she was stunningly beautiful.
Never say never is a good rule to follow, so I won’t say I will never consider plastic surgery. But as I age physically, I find that other aspects of my being become more important to me. My sense of humour makes me sexy. My intelligence makes me sexy. My creativity makes me sexy. My wisdom makes me sexy.
So, while I won’t say never, I will say not very likely.
And I am looking forward to the day I sit and talk with grandchildren, or take them for walks. And when I am with them, I will totally be with them. I will want to know about them. I will share what I know about other family members. And sometimes I will giggle, and sometimes I will laugh with fullness and richness.
And I will be stunningly beautiful.
Plastic surgery for yourself: never? maybe? or you betcha?
Hi Panther - Like you, I read the post on Vered’s blog.
I won’t say “never”, but will say probably not. I love the beauty I see in aging women (and men, too). Their eyes often sparkle as they tell stories or share their words of wisdom. And those smile lines on their faces are beautiful. To me, each line (that took years to form) tells a story, and if we sit and listen they’ll gladly tell us how they got them. That’s how I want to be too - admired for my wisdom as I age gracefully.
Hi Panther. I don’t think I will ever have plastic surgery. Someone once told me that for a man, the most sexy thing about a woman is confidence… how comfortable and self-assured she is. This shows through in both your grandmothers.
I appreciate the natural look in a person. I don’t follow the medias view on what one should strive for in appearance. Also, I think a disclaimer should be put on any photo that has used Photo Shop to touch up blemishes. These fake photos confuse our youth and can lead to eating disorders and other unhealthy attributes….I’m on a different topic now.
I can only think of plastic surgery as a consequence of accidents, taking away scars for example. I am in my 50ies now, and still have reddish-brown hair, but if I ever get grey hear, I will have grey hair in grace. Aging gracefully, that’s the thing I want.
The truth behind cosmetic surgery is a huge lie. We are taught in our society that age is to be avoided while almost all the rest of the world knows that it is to be valued. If when I was 20 someone told me I’d find a 50 yr old sexy I’d have thought they were nuts. Now I’m constantly eyeing the chicks around my own age in great appreciation. Other than for injury or disfigurement there is no reason for surgery. Looking your age is a privilege reserved only for those who have survived
There’s no way I’d submit to any surgery that wasn’t absolutely necessary. I try to keep decreptitude at bay with exercise and eating right, getting enough sleep, keeping mentally and physically active and finding joy wherever I can. As with weight loss, your body is not something you should be in a constant battle with - “fighting to stay thing” “fighting to stay young”. Sheesh. It’s not a separate evil entity. It’s you! Work with yourself, not against yourself.
Dear Ms. Panther,
My cousin got in a car accident years ago, smashed up his face bad. The doctor told him that he could have any nose and cheekbone structure he wanted. He told the doctor
“I want my own.”
That reflects my attitude.
I have also seen a young girl telling her friend that for her 18th birthday, her father was getting her a boob job. She was excited.
Different strokes for different folks.
my abs make me sexy. unfortunately, i can’t see them yet.
um no plastic surgery for me, although i would like slightly bigger breasts, just to fill out my clothes, of course.
Hi, U.P. This is so beautiful. Wisdom and peace grace every word. Feeling as you do, I’m sure you’ll continue to be the most vibrant and interested and interesting and beautiful of women, no matter your age. Your family will treasure you dearly, for you will shine so brightly and lovingly in their hearts.
Barbara - ‘Every laugh line on your face, made you who you are today’ _ Martina McBride. I love crinkles around the eyes. You don’t get those from scowling. You have to get them from smiling and laughing.
Davina - it also takes a strong self-confident man to be attracted to a strong self-confident woman. That makes HIM very sexy!
Mark - a bit of a tangent, but not really. What are we basing beauty on? That’s why I love the DOVE ads. Real women with curves and bulges and wrinkles.
Ulla - I love my grey hair. I don’t look in the mirror and see grey hair. I look in the mirror and simply see the colour of my hair. It happens to be grey. And when I stopped dying my hair, and let it go natural people told me I look years younger!
Bandobras - ‘looking your age is a priviledge’ I like that! I earned this body!
XUP - ‘your body is not something you should be in constant battle with’ And I like this! I wonder if I have achieved true harmony with my body. I’ll have to ponder that. As for surgery, there are always risks no matter what. I am not taking those risks to smooth out some lines, or enlarge some boobs (although if mine shrink away to nothing, I might have to retract that statement)
Frank - almost a bit insensitive of the doctor! I’d be like “here’s some photos of me; put Humpty Dumpty back together please!” I am sorry, different stroke for different folks, maybe, but Holy Crumpets, you’ve got this dad telling his baby daughter (yes, at 18 you are a baby when it comes to decisions like that!) that her body needs improvement and he, the man, is going to put it right for her. ARGH!!!! Okay, now my blood pressure is boiling.
Natural - push up bras honey. A lot cheaper, a lot less risk, and you can decide how big you want your boobs depending on the outfit.
Julie - thank you! It’s my goal to be a very cool gramma. And since my daughter told me today I am the awesomest mom, I seem to be on the right track *smile*
“as I age physically, I find that other aspects of my being become more important to me.” I love this sentence.
As for my own plans, I’m not sure. I hope I can continue to love myself as I age. But if I don’t, if I get to a point where I hate what I see in the mirror, I can’t rule out plastic surgery.
Even though I am on the injured list right now from a fall and have had too much surgery for cancer in my life time, I think I am getting more beautiful all the time and definitely more creative and fun.
I am having plastic surgery right now to remove another growth off my lip…and if my breasts became as large as my mothers (and actually fractured her back in 3 places) I would consider surgery. Right now good diet and exercise and plenty of laughter just make me feel great.
Beautifully written - charming read and graceful, elegant ideas - thank you.
Panther,
I like all the answers here, and your warm, sensitive post. I’m confident, think of myself as sexy, and I’m reasonably happy about most of my appearance.
But if money was no object?
I’d do a couple of things. I cannot tell a lie.
Regards,
Kelly
Hi Panther - I’m with you on this - we are not our appearance. I think people who have plastic surgery think it will make them happier - and I don’t think it really can, the same as no other things outside our true self can.
Vered - Interestingly, I look in the mirror and I just see me. Not individuals parts of me. I suppose if I analyzed each part I would see eyelids that are starting to droop, a softening jowl line, lowered breasts, a thickening waist line, wrinkled hands … but even typing all that out doesn’t bother me. I am simply me. I’ll check back with you when you are 45, but I think you’ll look in the mirror and see Vered, not bits and pieces of Vered.
Patricia - my mother had breast reduction surgery in her 60s. Surgery for health reasons is pretty much a given. I was strictly referring to surgery to eliminate or minimize natural aging. I like your statement about becoming more fun and creative. The more I relax and truly enjoy life, the more I look in the mirror and say “Wow! You are one hot mama!”
Kelly - care to share what those couple of things might be? If money was not object, I wouldn’t do anything surgically, but I would pay for manicures and pedicures, because I love the look of manicured nails, but totally suck at doing it myself. And I would have my hair ‘done’ everytime I was going out somewhere. In other words, I would pay to look more polished.
Robin - this was an angle I didn’t get into for sake of posting brevity, but it does intrigue me. If I looked in the mirror and hated my nose (it’s a bit romanesque) is it really the cause of my unhappiness, or is it an object I can blame my unhappiness on? If I got my nose ‘fixed’ would I become happy, POOF!, just like that? Or would the happiness only be temporary because of the distraction. I personally think it would be temporary, but I would have to talk to women who have had plastic surgery to really know.
Panther,
Heh. No, I would not care to!
Later,
Kelly
Kelly - fair enough
The only thing I’d pay to change is remove the back and ear hair that seems to think it belongs with me.
Otherwise no. I feel and look sexier than I ever have (it’s the confidence thing).
As for the negative effects of plastic surgery, just check out Madonna and the chicken wings inserted in her cheeks…
http://famousplastic.com/2008/07/28/madonna-over-does-the-plastic/
I think Alex looks sexier than I ever have, too.
Alex - ear hair! *chuckle* Well, could be worse. Could be nostril hair long enough to form a mustache. The Lion works with a gentleman whose nostril hair melds into his mustache. And EW! to those pics of Madonna!
Kelly - you aren’t suffering from back and ear hair are you? If so, I totally support your cosmetic surgery fantasies.
“Dan Miller wrote a post supporting cosmetic plastic surgery in order to defy the natural affects of aging” I appreciate Dan Miller because he wrote this its very informative. Keep up the good work.
by: sphin